Over the past weekend I was excited and joyous in being able to spend time with my extended family. Growing up with a diverse and multicultural background I had an unconventional childhood. At the age of 3 my parents divorced and I grew up separate from my father and brother. Over time both of my parents remarried and had other children, my half-bother and sisters, needless to say I have a very blended family. Every year since my parent��셲 estrangement, until I was a teenager, I would visit my dad and his family once a year in the Alaska bush. When my immediate family and I moved to Washington D.C. at the age of 10, our visits became less frequent and then obsolete by my teenage years.
As I have self-discovered, a lot of my soul wounding has occurred due to these circumstances, which has left me feeling abandoned, neglected, and unworthy. I have struggled since childhood to emotionally connect with my father, brother, and the Twitchell lineage. On the rare occasion we are all able to spend time together I am plagued with sorrow and grief, and good-byes are always the hardest. Yet, I am more grateful and filled with joy when I have any opportunity to spend quality time learning and sharing parts of ourselves with one another.
For my nephew��셲 high school graduation this past weekend we were all able to come together to celebrate and I took this occasion to share the art genogram I made for my Art Therapy: Family Therapy course requirement. I really surprised myself when I called everyone��셲 attention, about 30 people including my in-laws, to share this unique portrait of my immediate family��셲 lineage. I was filled with joy, pride, honor, humility, and power. I was amazed at the level of attention that everyone gave and I could feel the depth of my ancestors behind me as we all held the space together. We were all so moved by the moment that I wasn��셳 sure how to close what I had opened. Thanks to my mom��셲 suggestion, my brother, who is also the bishop of his Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) ward, gave a closing prayer.
Afterwards I felt like there was a shift in our common space and it felt more reverent, peaceful, and harmonious. To me this is what I envisioned feeling, seeing, and being when I have the authentic ability to convey what I experience as healing for indigenous community members (Nizhoni). I enjoyed sharing the symbols, colors, and materials I used. Explaining how and why I constructed my art genogram. Everyone was curious and I encouraged any and all questions.
My dad said it took a lot of courage for me to be genuine and heartfelt in front of everyone, especially during the last 3 minutes of the NBA finals game. I have learned that I am very empathic and that sharing my emotions and feelings with others demonstrates leadership qualities. I was thankful to share a part of my family��셲 genealogy with others while also demonstrating what I have been learning here at 91두두. The greatest gift was witnessing my work in practice and helping to heal not only myself, but also my family as a whole. To witness the power and magic of art is amazing and it re-affirms what I��셫 experiencing in the here and now, especially as I continue to transform my consciousness through education.